This story has a positive ending

Today was not the best day I’ve ever had.  In fact, it started out pretty horribly.  I woke up this morning and, before I even had time to take a deep breath, I was aware of a huge weight on my chest.  I felt like everything was pressing down on me ~ I don’t know what the “everything” was, but I could sense it, and it was hurting me.  My body ached, my limbs were tired, my head was swimming.  I was made of stone.  I wanted to go back to sleep, I didn’t want to get ready for the day.  I couldn't.  I knew what I would find when I went over to the mirror ~ ugly that couldn’t be covered up by makeup.  So, I slept in.  

When I finally crawled my way out of bed, I was running late for work.  I felt like shit about myself, yet again.  Looking in the mirror, as I suspected, didn’t help.  I felt worthless and disappointing.  It took a while, but I finally got up the courage to go in to work, even though I was late.  I had to.  I had to take a step in the right direction.  I had to face my fears and overcome.  

The car ride started off as an anxiety-filled race to my destination.  I was trying to get there before all of my problems did.  However, halfway through something changed.  I was able to come out of my self-conscious fog and breathe.  I rolled down the window and felt a fresh breeze blowing across my face, tickling my nose, and filling up my lungs.  I could feel the warm spring sun heating the air around me, creating a comforting blanket that allowed me to calm down.  It felt like a warm embrace.  In those minutes, I remembered why I am fighting.  I don’t want to let any more of those moments go by unnoticed.  I want to experience as many breezes, sunny days and warm embraces as I can.  I remembered that I don’t want to exist, I want to live.  I will keep fighting.

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