I’m not going to lie to you. Some days just suck.
I try to stay positive on this blog – recovery is a tough enough process without negativity floating around our heads. Actually, LIFE and PEOPLE are negative enough. I pride myself on being happy most of the time and on fighting the good fight and pushing myself forward.
I want to encourage everyone to overcome their most difficult moments, to look forward to a better life, to LIVE instead of exist.
But you have to remember that I am currently trying to do the same. I am not recovered. I am not undiagnosed. I am still dealing with my issues. Some days I am still suffering from my issues.
Today has been one of those days. Last night I picked my face like I used to. I didn’t even attempt to stop myself. I woke up scratched, bruised and embarrassed. Giant step backwards.
Then I got an email from my therapist – he is going to be out of the country for the next three weeks or so and we will (obviously) not be meeting. So I will be fighting this alone.
Part of me wants to curl up into a ball, fall asleep and wake up when this is all better, but I’ve tried that before and I know it doesn’t work (FACT).
Instead, I am going to put it behind me. I picked. Fine. Now I will heal.
I will be moving forward alone. But I will be moving forward.
And when my therapist comes back in three weeks, I have to think about how amazing I am going to feel that I took steps towards a full recovery by myself.
I continue to be tested. This life isn’t easy. I must continue to rise to the occasion.