When you fall, get back up.

I’m not going to lie to you.  Some days just suck.

I try to stay positive on this blog – recovery is a tough enough process without negativity floating around our heads.  Actually, LIFE and PEOPLE are negative enough.  I pride myself on being happy most of the time and on fighting the good fight and pushing myself forward.

I want to encourage everyone to overcome their most difficult moments, to look forward to a better life, to LIVE instead of exist.

But you have to remember that I am currently trying to do the same.  I am not recovered.  I am not undiagnosed.  I am still dealing with my issues.  Some days I am still suffering from my issues.

Today has been one of those days.  Last night I picked my face like I used to.  I didn’t even attempt to stop myself.  I woke up scratched, bruised and embarrassed.  Giant step backwards.

Then I got an email from my therapist – he is going to be out of the country for the next three weeks or so and we will (obviously) not be meeting.  So I will be fighting this alone.

Part of me wants to curl up into a ball, fall asleep and wake up when this is all better, but I’ve tried that before and I know it doesn’t work (FACT).

Instead, I am going to put it behind me.  I picked.  Fine.  Now I will heal.

I will be moving forward alone.  But I will be moving forward.

And when my therapist comes back in three weeks, I have to think about how amazing I am going to feel that I took steps towards a full recovery by myself. 

I continue to be tested.  This life isn’t easy.  I must continue to rise to the occasion.